Muscle memory, brain training and changing mindsets

My brain was exploding with analogies while on the treadmill at the gym today. A few months back I had made some voice notes (also while on the treadmill) on the same topic, but have just not had the time to put it all together. This is my one plop of thought (on a particular angle) in a huge ocean of thought and ideas out there. I love social media and interact with a wide variety of people on various topics, specifically on Facebook. The topic of racism comes up often and unfortunately when an incident happens, it's like many people dissolve into a puddle of rage and anger with comments of 'not again' and wanting every harsh consequence in the book thrown at the person/people, but then not much is done to speak about how could that have been handled better? or what is a better way forward? It seems to just leave people with their boiling anger and going nowhere. We need to get out of that puddle! We need a goal to aim at so we don't just swim in murky puddle water. (There are a few things circulating that are helpful in showing the way forward.) And, absolutely people need to be called to account for their words and actions. The way forward just needs to be clearer and the acknowledgement that it is a long road walking intentionally (training) in the same direction that will bring about transformation.

I think we would all rather choose to follow someone who inspires us and calls us to do and live better. Just think back to school days and the teachers that you loved, not because they were not strict, but because they believed in you and spurred you on towards your goals, even if you messed up and failed along the way. We need people around us who will keep saying 'C'mon South Africa, you can do this, let's get up again, we can get this right. Let's keep going. Let's keep moving forward.'

Whenever I am on the treadmill, I get to watch swimming training go on in the pool below. This one particular teacher seems to be sought after (I am presuming the kids like her and she gets results). She takes the child's feet and flaps them up and down in the water for a while, then she lets go. The child then tries on their own (much slower) and then she takes the feet and flaps them up and down again. I have seen her take their arms and, over and over, make the arm go in the right position for swimming. She is always encouraging and continually showing them what the correct positions are. I see this muscle training in the same light as brain training. It starts with baby steps and much encouragement when we are learning something new. There will always be someone around us starting their journey towards something and they need the encouragement to keep going. There is also always someone else in another lane, who is much further along in their journey, maybe even at Olympic level. Those people have the choice to stay in their own lane and scoff at those who are only starting or who are not getting it, or they can use their expertise to encourage and inspire the beginners to follow after them. Be amazed at their progress. I watched the one mom get so excited at her young child's progress, with her camera in hand to record the event. She was so happy and smiling from ear to ear. We should always be excited at baby steps. I noticed one quite overweight person at the gym today - just imagine if someone had to say something negative to them and all their bravery to get this far just crumbled? How sad that would be. When someone starts the journey out of racism, don't scoff at their first basic steps just because you are further along in the journey. Encourage and spur them on in their journey. Each step forward in the right direction is worth getting excited about.

Our brains and muscles need time to learn new things and it's time and repetition that will get us there. Many people use the term 'recovering racist' just like someone walking out of addiction. It's a pretty apt term as white people growing up in apartheid South Africa grew up with racist attitudes everywhere and so for most it was the norm because brain pathways were set in that mode through time and repetition. The only way to renew, transform, change, recover from these set patterns is by new patterns learnt over time with much repetition. The focus always needs to be on the end goal. Addicts have a recovery plan when they come out of rehab and normally a support system around them to help keep them accountable. The question we maybe need to ask is where do we want to go? We are always going somewhere because we are goal seeking by nature. We need to choose and be very intentional about it. We need to set our language towards what we want and not what we don't want (the quote above speaks to this.)

Today was the first time in a few months that I was able to go back to gym. I have suffered quite badly with my asthma in recent months. In thinking about this blog, I was feeling mixed emotions with my exercise non-regime! It felt like starting all over again, but it's not really that, it's just a case of catching up to where I was and taking it forward from there. I had a choice - discouragement at the lost time or excitement that I was back and ready to go. We have a choice on a daily basis when we mess up in the way we treat others. We can get discouraged and say it's too hard to change and just give up, or we can be excited about getting back up and trying again. Put one foot in front of the other, be intentional and ask what's next? What was my goal again? Right, let's go. There are a few words and phrases that I believe could be hugely transforming in our way forward, and those are humility, interdependence and vulnerability. It will take great courage to express these but we will all benefit in the most excellent of ways. We need each other to see all there is to see. Brain pathways (like muscles in learning to swim) need time and lots of repetition to replace old thinking. The great news is, it can be done. There's such great hope for our country.

Running the race of life

I walked my 6th Park Run today. What a beautiful day it was. I was walking alone as my faster husband and daughter had gone ahead, and suddenly all the analogies of running/walking and the walk of life started flooding through my mind. Everything I saw and heard carried a double meaning. This often happens to me when I am in a place without the chance to take pen to paper, like when I am driving. Someone suggested that when I find myself in those situations that I make voice notes for later. I have recently acquired a new phone and didn't know how to make voice recordings, so I warned and then flooded my other daughter's Whatsap with about 10 voice notes as I was walking.

Here then are my musings from my walk...

It's good to get out there and actually see what other people are doing in life. There was much activity on this part of the beachfront today with the Park Run, the 5km Bellbuoy ocean swim and early morning walkers. Being social is important because we cannot learn from others if we live in isolation. It's actually easier to keep putting one foot in front of the other because you are watching others doing the same.

There are lots of challenges, obstructions and distractions along the way. There are hard, slogging parts (like the resistance of sand, dodging the water, walking over rocks, slippery surfaces) and then there are easier parts and relief after the hard parts. That brings about new sections (seasons) to tackle and overcome.

There was a t.shirt slogan that I saw that said - 'Who are you running for?' That's a good question to ask and answer.

It is of vital importance to have a goal that you are working towards because that makes the race worthwhile, it makes each step and hard part have a purpose.

When there is a common goal it seems to pull people together in areas where they often pull apart, like age, race, gender, class and religion.

It is also ok if you fall or stop to take a breath, as long as you get up again and keep going.

It is also ok to stop and take photos (stop and smell the roses) and create some fun on your journey and at the same time create happy memories to keep.

Exercise creates a dopamine release - the happy hormone. It gives you energy and the ability to say, 'I can do this!'

When running with one of your children and they ask to go ahead, it reminded me of the letting go part of parenting. Allow them to run their own race.

I also noted the value of support groups - being around people who are dealing with the same stuff as you. You are there to encourage, to be encouraged, to learn, to learn from, support, be supported, to cheer on and be cheered on. If one falls, there are others to pick you up.

There are volunteers along the way who guide you along the right track, encourage and cheer you on. This particular lady said that she has valued others cheering her on when she has been in a race. Reminded me of the value of mentors - those who inspire us, show us the way and challenge us. It gives us something to work towards.

You get to see varying levels of fitness and speed, some overtake you, some you get to overtake. It gives you something to work towards for your next run. Some run past you when you are walking and give you that little bit of energy to start running again. It makes you feel that you can also do that.

You hear lots of different conversations along the way. We need to take every bit of advice and information we can get along the walk of life. Learning from others. Being life-long learners ourselves.

There are different perspectives all around us, like me thinking that all the seaweed washed up on the shore smells quite awful, and a few minutes later I hear someone comment on the lovely smell!

That was a valuable walk for me and I come away just knowing that we all need each other in the race of life. Keep running/walking.

I have a dream for the youth of South Africa

I have a dream for the youth of South Africa...
To be able to dream dreams for their futures.
To have the confidence within themselves to pursue those dreams.
To have the life skills to understand life and what goes on around them.
To have the knowledge that they have worth and value without having to prove it to anyone.
To receive good education.
To have hope and vision for their futures.
To have the ability and courage to stand up for what is right and say no to what is wrong.
To show respect to all around them.
To lead the way.
To passionately care for their fellow South Africans.
To be the cheerleaders of anyone less fortunate than them.
To be children of character and integrity.
To be about bringing and speaking life.
To know who they are and why they are here. To know their purpose.
To have a positive, healthy self-esteem.
To be safe at all times.
To have a home and food to eat.
To form meaningful connections with others around them.
To be mentored by other passionate, caring South African adults.
To be shown they have value by the adult figures in their lives.
To raise standards to levels of excellence in all they do.
To make wise and good choices for their futures. To practice self-control.
To impact their peers and the world around them in a positive way. To make a difference.
To be passionate about leaving a powerful and positive legacy that others will celebrate and want to emulate.
To be real, genuine, honest and vulnerable.
To have good, healthy boundaries and to respect the boundaries of those around them.
To take ownership of their actions.
To be able to work together.
To practice humility and never see themselves as better or above the person next to them.
To rise above their circumstances.
To show courage in all they do.
To transform themselves by transforming the way they think.
To put 100% effort into all they do.
To be thankful and appreciative.
To be determined.
To be kind, selfless and generous.
To extend grace and forgiveness where necessary.
To fight for fairness and equality and justice for all.
To learn from failure.
To keep on growing in maturity. To have growth mindsets.
To engage life critically and meaningfully.
To be trustworthy.
To show a good attitude. To be people of peace who practice patience, gentleness and love with all they come into contact with.
To have good character oozing out of them, responsible, good citizens who care for their country, its people and resources and be people with perseverance, consistency, faithfulness, goodness, self-discipline, great decision-making skills, excellent quality of work and service.
To be persistent agents of change in their country.
To practice interdependence - 'we need each other to see all there is to see.'
To grow into adults with purpose and have a joyful hope for their futures.

This is the South Africa I dream of. This can be our South Africa.

"Give me the youth. Give me the nation." Anon
"Enabled youth. Changed Nation." Realstart
"We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future." Franklin. D. Roosevelt.