We know these phrases from through the
years: shape up or ship out, adapt or die. They certainly have a harsh ring to
them. There just seems to be no give or take involved. There’s no space for
grace, no compromise is involved, it lacks reciprocity, fairness and
balance. It’s all one-sided and very controlling. You may have heard people say
that immigrants just need to assimilate into the place they have moved to. It’s
currently quite topical on social media. “If you come here, you just fit in and
do as we do. You and your culture might be hidden or invisible in the process,
but that’s okay. Don’t make waves.”
Assimilation has a few different meanings
and it’s not good or bad, as long as it’s done with choice and control,
and all the other good things like grace, compromise, fairness and balance that
would work towards healthy relationships.
It means ‘to absorb, incorporate or
take in knowledge, nutrients or cultural traits, becoming similar to a
larger whole. To fully understand information. Digesting food into body
tissues. Adapting to a new culture. It signifies fitting in or merging
into a group, society or environment.’ Oxford Dictionary
Anyone moving to another country by choice
will have their stories of how difficult it is to learn how things are done in
another country, maybe they need to learn another language or their palate
needs to get used to new food. People do things differently. Work life, social
life and relationships will all feel this impact. New words, even new meanings
to words they already know. Sometimes words that were acceptable in the culture
they came from are suddenly taboo and rude in this new culture. Many people
long for their old country, they feel homesick and some eventually return
because they were unable to make the transition to the new place. It’s called creating
a new normal and it will always take time.
We have seen many people leave South Africa
for other countries over the years. Countries like Canada, UK, Australia and
USA. Some look happy in their photos, but many expressed how hard it was when
you spoke to them in person. Many have said it takes between 5-8 years to
really feel settled and ‘at home’ when moving to another country. Adapting and
fitting in by choice will always take time. Our brain pathways need time to
change to what we are setting them towards. We have seen quite a few
families return, saying they missed South Africa and the way of life they had
here. We see rugby stadiums filled if South Africa plays in their new country.
As some have said, South Africa is a part of our DNA. Then there’s certain food
items that people miss so much they get relatives to bring the items over when
they visit. Many countries have realized this is a gap in the market and have
shops that stock these South African food items that people long for, like Mrs
H.S Ball’s chutney or Ouma rusks.
I must say I can’t see any of these people
taking very kindly to their new country having no patience with them and
not wanting them to be in any part South African, but just to assimilate into
the new place and become everything that country signifies and stands for. Imagine
this for someone immigrating from the UK to China or someone immigrating from
the USA to Lesotho. Hey, I may be wrong but it’s going to take bravery and
courage and I imagine not a long or happy stay if it’s all about control and
forcing change.
Just imagine some of those people moving to
a new country where the dominant religion is different to theirs. Would the
expectation be to assimilate? I am guessing majority would answer no to that.
Sometimes we really need to weigh up what we are asking of others and flip the
story to ourselves. If we are going to love people like we love ourselves or if
we are going to treat others like we would like them to treat us, then we need
to delve a little deeper into these expectations placed on other people. And
even more especially so, if they fall into any vulnerable category. The
vulnerable categories close to God’s heart are widows, orphans,
immigrants or foreigners, the poor, the oppressed, the sick and disabled, the
marginalized and lonely. Often this refers to people with limited power, voice,
social standing, economic security or resources. Lacking the basic necessities
or subject to unjust treatment. Neglected, forgotten or devalued by society. With
foreigners/immigrants they would lack the rights and securities of citizens. He
calls us to see them, to defend them, to protect them, to stand in the gap to
stop mistreatment of them. God calls his people to particularly support these
people through justice, mercy and active love and care.
Now, take someone who has had war break out
in their country and they have needed to flee for their lives to another
country. Straight away there is no choice and control, other than straight out
survival. They get titles like refugees, foreigners or by far the worst,
aliens. Generally other words like illegal or criminal creep in there too. And
again, to hasten to answer those who may want to point out that there could be
illegal or criminal activity done by people entering another country, let’s
also hasten to not paint everyone with the same paintbrush. We need to take
note that people are not illegal as that carries a level of criminality. When
we call people illegal it makes it very easy to start dehumanizing them and
taking the law into our own hands. There’s also political propaganda at play. I
am guessing the same accusations could apply to any person moving between
countries.
It does seem that the assimilation that is
demanded of others carries a level of domination to it. It seems to
often come from the dominant culture or the people who think they hold the
dominant culture. It is also done in an unfair way, as it only applies to some
people and not all people. A thought, that maybe we don’t demand from
others what we ourselves can’t or don’t want to do or have never done.
I find it concerning because it cancels
belonging and acceptance. It excludes people. It forces people to lose or
hide parts of who they are. It stops learning happening. Curiosity is shut out.
Humility plays no part. Arrogance and coercion lead the way.
Jesus refers to us as foreigners and reminds us about it. As people who follow Jesus, we are a part of
his kingdom, which is not of this world. He calls us to behave in such a way as
someone who represents that kingdom well. He certainly would never call for
assimilation into a worldly space. He certainly would not be happy with us
demanding any kind of assimilation from others too. What he does call us to, is
to show honour to the people and their culture, or to seek the prosperity of
the city they are living in or to become all things in our effort to point
people towards Jesus. He does tell us explicitly not to conform to the ways of
this world.
Daniel is such a prime example of non-conforming
or non-assimilation to the foreign land and culture he found himself in. He
stood for God and would not bow to a foreign god/idol. He only ate the food in
a manner consistent with the Nazarite vow of separation and dedication. He
refused the king’s delicacies. He did however do all of this with respect,
dignity and humility. He did not demand but asked for his Jewish ways to be
respected. He continued to pray to God openly, like he always had done, even
though it carried punishment. If we are a part of the kingdom of God, we will
sometimes be called to this level of sacrifice and persecution. Sometimes it
will come on the back of calling for justice in certain circumstances. We need
to stay obedient and trust in God through it all.
Here are parts of a quote by Nyaduol Nyuon
Bany: “Preserving one’s cultural identity, language, traditions and values does
not equate to rejecting or disrespecting the country in which one lives.
Integration, as opposed to assimilation, does not require anyone to erase one’s
roots. It simply means engaging with the broader community while maintaining
the cultural foundations that give a person dignity, continuity and pride.
True multiculturism is built on mutual
respect, not pressure to conform. It allows individuals to celebrate their
identity without fear of judgement or expectation to abandon their cultural
background. When people preserve their traditions, languages and values, they
enrich the social fabric of the country they are in, rather than divide it.
Cultural diversity should empower
individuals to stand confidently in both worlds: contributing to the society
they live in, while carrying forward the legacy of their ancestors. That
balance is not only possible, but also essential for a healthy and inclusive
nation.”
In South Africa and other places around the
world where there has been racial hierarchy, there is an expectation of
assimilation into the dominant culture at the top of the pyramid. Initially
with Apartheid in South Africa there was forced separation, and so assimilation
was not an option. But post-Apartheid South Africa is a different story. Some
critics have argued that the model of integration has often functioned as an
effort to assimilate black citizens into white-centered institutions. This has
led to a reality where we don’t have a truly new, equitable and inclusive
society. Let’s sit in the discomfort of that, digest it and find out more
information before we react instead of responding. The hopes for South Africa
would be for a unified, harmonious and multicultural society, with everyone
equally valued and included with all their diversity. It is more complex and
difficult to navigate but the rewards for everyone far outweigh the
difficulties along the way.
Just thought to mention the phrase, “When
in Rome, do as the Romans do.” This is referring to adopting customs,
traditions and behaviours of the local area or culture, especially when
traveling or in an unfamiliar situation. This is to blend in and respect local
norms. There is still choice and control in these situations. An example could
be eating with chopsticks in a country where that is their primary utensil.
It’s not forced, but it is appreciated by locals. When in a cosmopolitan
setting you would find diverse cultures co-existing, blending and creating new
mixed identities. My personal reflection here would be that I expect heaven is
going to reflect the cosmopolitan setting, so by allowing that level of freedom
and not letting minority cultures get swallowed up and lost in a dominant
culture, we would be bringing heaven to earth.
If we value the ways of the kingdom of
God and the Shalom he speaks of, we would be all about welcoming and loving
people and mutual caring. We would not demand things from other people. We
would accept people and honour the image of God in them. We would stop othering
people, calling people names or using racism and supremacy as the backdrop for ‘so
called’ legal steps towards harassing people we deem unacceptable in the same
country we live in. We would not support mass violent deportation of people.
We need better ways forward and we can
certainly keep aiming at the reality of wholeness, belonging and restoration
for all. We want to be able to thrive and flourish together. Let's keep choosing welcome and acceptance. Let’s imagine more
and create a new future that includes and celebrates everyone.
Picture from a Missions Poster at Church
