Assimilation. Shape up or ship out!

We know these phrases from through the years: shape up or ship out, adapt or die. They certainly have a harsh ring to them. There just seems to be no give or take involved. There’s no space for grace, no compromise is involved, it lacks reciprocity, fairness and balance. It’s all one-sided and very controlling. You may have heard people say that immigrants just need to assimilate into the place they have moved to. It’s currently quite topical on social media. “If you come here, you just fit in and do as we do. You and your culture might be hidden or invisible in the process, but that’s okay. Don’t make waves.”

Assimilation has a few different meanings and it’s not good or bad, as long as it’s done with choice and control, and all the other good things like grace, compromise, fairness and balance that would work towards healthy relationships.

It means ‘to absorb, incorporate or take in knowledge, nutrients or cultural traits, becoming similar to a larger whole. To fully understand information. Digesting food into body tissues. Adapting to a new culture. It signifies fitting in or merging into a group, society or environment.’ Oxford Dictionary

Anyone moving to another country by choice will have their stories of how difficult it is to learn how things are done in another country, maybe they need to learn another language or their palate needs to get used to new food. People do things differently. Work life, social life and relationships will all feel this impact. New words, even new meanings to words they already know. Sometimes words that were acceptable in the culture they came from are suddenly taboo and rude in this new culture. Many people long for their old country, they feel homesick and some eventually return because they were unable to make the transition to the new place. It’s called creating a new normal and it will always take time.

We have seen many people leave South Africa for other countries over the years. Countries like Canada, UK, Australia and USA. Some look happy in their photos, but many expressed how hard it was when you spoke to them in person. Many have said it takes between 5-8 years to really feel settled and ‘at home’ when moving to another country. Adapting and fitting in by choice will always take time. Our brain pathways need time to change to what we are setting them towards. We have seen quite a few families return, saying they missed South Africa and the way of life they had here. We see rugby stadiums filled if South Africa plays in their new country. As some have said, South Africa is a part of our DNA. Then there’s certain food items that people miss so much they get relatives to bring the items over when they visit. Many countries have realized this is a gap in the market and have shops that stock these South African food items that people long for, like Mrs H.S Ball’s chutney or Ouma rusks.

I must say I can’t see any of these people taking very kindly to their new country having no patience with them and not wanting them to be in any part South African, but just to assimilate into the new place and become everything that country signifies and stands for. Imagine this for someone immigrating from the UK to China or someone immigrating from the USA to Lesotho. Hey, I may be wrong but it’s going to take bravery and courage and I imagine not a long or happy stay if it’s all about control and forcing change.

Just imagine some of those people moving to a new country where the dominant religion is different to theirs. Would the expectation be to assimilate? I am guessing majority would answer no to that. Sometimes we really need to weigh up what we are asking of others and flip the story to ourselves. If we are going to love people like we love ourselves or if we are going to treat others like we would like them to treat us, then we need to delve a little deeper into these expectations placed on other people. And even more especially so, if they fall into any vulnerable category. The vulnerable categories close to God’s heart are widows, orphans, immigrants or foreigners, the poor, the oppressed, the sick and disabled, the marginalized and lonely. Often this refers to people with limited power, voice, social standing, economic security or resources. Lacking the basic necessities or subject to unjust treatment. Neglected, forgotten or devalued by society. With foreigners/immigrants they would lack the rights and securities of citizens. He calls us to see them, to defend them, to protect them, to stand in the gap to stop mistreatment of them. God calls his people to particularly support these people through justice, mercy and active love and care.

Now, take someone who has had war break out in their country and they have needed to flee for their lives to another country. Straight away there is no choice and control, other than straight out survival. They get titles like refugees, foreigners or by far the worst, aliens. Generally other words like illegal or criminal creep in there too. And again, to hasten to answer those who may want to point out that there could be illegal or criminal activity done by people entering another country, let’s also hasten to not paint everyone with the same paintbrush. We need to take note that people are not illegal as that carries a level of criminality. When we call people illegal it makes it very easy to start dehumanizing them and taking the law into our own hands. There’s also political propaganda at play. I am guessing the same accusations could apply to any person moving between countries.

It does seem that the assimilation that is demanded of others carries a level of domination to it. It seems to often come from the dominant culture or the people who think they hold the dominant culture. It is also done in an unfair way, as it only applies to some people and not all people. A thought, that maybe we don’t demand from others what we ourselves can’t or don’t want to do or have never done.

I find it concerning because it cancels belonging and acceptance. It excludes people. It forces people to lose or hide parts of who they are. It stops learning happening. Curiosity is shut out. Humility plays no part. Arrogance and coercion lead the way.

Jesus refers to us as foreigners and reminds us about it. As people who follow Jesus, we are a part of his kingdom, which is not of this world. He calls us to behave in such a way as someone who represents that kingdom well. He certainly would never call for assimilation into a worldly space. He certainly would not be happy with us demanding any kind of assimilation from others too. What he does call us to, is to show honour to the people and their culture, or to seek the prosperity of the city they are living in or to become all things in our effort to point people towards Jesus. He does tell us explicitly not to conform to the ways of this world.

Daniel is such a prime example of non-conforming or non-assimilation to the foreign land and culture he found himself in. He stood for God and would not bow to a foreign god/idol. He only ate the food in a manner consistent with the Nazarite vow of separation and dedication. He refused the king’s delicacies. He did however do all of this with respect, dignity and humility. He did not demand but asked for his Jewish ways to be respected. He continued to pray to God openly, like he always had done, even though it carried punishment. If we are a part of the kingdom of God, we will sometimes be called to this level of sacrifice and persecution. Sometimes it will come on the back of calling for justice in certain circumstances. We need to stay obedient and trust in God through it all.

Here are parts of a quote by Nyaduol Nyuon Bany: “Preserving one’s cultural identity, language, traditions and values does not equate to rejecting or disrespecting the country in which one lives. Integration, as opposed to assimilation, does not require anyone to erase one’s roots. It simply means engaging with the broader community while maintaining the cultural foundations that give a person dignity, continuity and pride.

True multiculturism is built on mutual respect, not pressure to conform. It allows individuals to celebrate their identity without fear of judgement or expectation to abandon their cultural background. When people preserve their traditions, languages and values, they enrich the social fabric of the country they are in, rather than divide it.

Cultural diversity should empower individuals to stand confidently in both worlds: contributing to the society they live in, while carrying forward the legacy of their ancestors. That balance is not only possible, but also essential for a healthy and inclusive nation.”

In South Africa and other places around the world where there has been racial hierarchy, there is an expectation of assimilation into the dominant culture at the top of the pyramid. Initially with Apartheid in South Africa there was forced separation, and so assimilation was not an option. But post-Apartheid South Africa is a different story. Some critics have argued that the model of integration has often functioned as an effort to assimilate black citizens into white-centered institutions. This has led to a reality where we don’t have a truly new, equitable and inclusive society. Let’s sit in the discomfort of that, digest it and find out more information before we react instead of responding. The hopes for South Africa would be for a unified, harmonious and multicultural society, with everyone equally valued and included with all their diversity. It is more complex and difficult to navigate but the rewards for everyone far outweigh the difficulties along the way.

Just thought to mention the phrase, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” This is referring to adopting customs, traditions and behaviours of the local area or culture, especially when traveling or in an unfamiliar situation. This is to blend in and respect local norms. There is still choice and control in these situations. An example could be eating with chopsticks in a country where that is their primary utensil. It’s not forced, but it is appreciated by locals. When in a cosmopolitan setting you would find diverse cultures co-existing, blending and creating new mixed identities. My personal reflection here would be that I expect heaven is going to reflect the cosmopolitan setting, so by allowing that level of freedom and not letting minority cultures get swallowed up and lost in a dominant culture, we would be bringing heaven to earth.

If we value the ways of the kingdom of God and the Shalom he speaks of, we would be all about welcoming and loving people and mutual caring. We would not demand things from other people. We would accept people and honour the image of God in them. We would stop othering people, calling people names or using racism and supremacy as the backdrop for ‘so called’ legal steps towards harassing people we deem unacceptable in the same country we live in. We would not support mass violent deportation of people.

We need better ways forward and we can certainly keep aiming at the reality of wholeness, belonging and restoration for all. We want to be able to thrive and flourish together. Let's keep choosing welcome and acceptance. Let’s imagine more and create a new future that includes and celebrates everyone.

Picture from a Missions Poster at Church